The Sparty Countdown... #10 & #9

It's hard to believe that this is my final week in East Lansing and as a college student. I still vividly remember packing my room up at home the night before preseason, crying, being upset because our dog Lacey got sprayed by a skunk so no one was helping me (hahaha, yes, true story), and scared of what was to come at college. And now, here I am, 5 years later crying because I have to leave what has become my new home and life! Is this what they mean by the circle of life?!

Lacey getting a tomato juice bath
post skunk encounter

Because it has been difficult to come to grips with this chapter coming to a close, I've been inspired by both SportsCenter's Top 10 (and let's be honest - the Not Top 10 - which is far better) and another blog (a former opponent's, actually!) to create my own top 10 countdown... it's The Sparty Countdown (yes, please read with The Final Countdown song in mind)! I'll be documenting 2 of my favorite things and what I will miss most from MSU a day, finishing with 'the best of the best' on Friday, my final day here. I figure that making my Top 10 will not only serve as a good farewell and goodbye, but will also be a good coping tool for me as I try to embrace my last few days at State. 

My only regret for the countdown? I don't have videos of everything I'm about to share to really make it like SportsCenter! And (I know my mom will say "I told you so!") I barely have pictures of some of my favorite things because they were just me living life! Who would've thought I needed a picture of me in the dorms or studying at my favorite spots... it's so ordinary! And that's what makes this all so great... yes, I may have been named an All-American, and I may have gotten to travel to a countless number of states with volleyball, and I may have gotten a ton of sweet gear, etc.... but the things I'll miss most are the things that made up my daily routines and relationships. I have been so incredibly blessed throughout my career at State that I can barely put it into words - the overflow of my heart in praise to God will have to suffice (and of course my Top 10 Sparty Countdown)! So here goes...

#10 - Eating in the Cafe

Yumm... dessert station at Brody!

I never thought I would ever be saying that! Isn't the stereotype that dorm food is horrible?? But I tell you what, living in the dorms for 2 years with unlimited food always available at my fingertips and then having to be on my own was quite the adjustment. So much so that I actually got a meal plan and then once it ran out, I just started asking the underclassmen if I could swipe with their ID to get in :) And I guess I have to premise this one by letting you all know that we don't have just any old college cafes - 3 of the main cafes on campus have recently been redone, one of which (Brody) offers 9 different food stations and is the largest cafeteria in the U.S. behind military bases! Snyder Phillips was the big hit when I was still in the dorms, and now they've redone and upgraded the Case cafeteria, which was in my dorm's neighborhood.

How I feel when I'm at the dorms -
so much to sample, so little time (and stomach space!)

The dorm cafeteria's didn't make my Top 10 just because they've been redone, spruced up, and have amazing food, but I have a ton of memories in the dorms with my closest friends and teammates. After a hard morning workout or afternoon practice - cafe, hanging out all day studying - cafe, just grabbing dinner to catch up - cafe, watching the big game - cafe, having bible study - cafe, being with all the camp coaches during summer camps (and planning our flash mob)- cafe. I read somewhere that being around food boosts your endorphine levels so that your encounters are more enjoyable and remembered. Well, MSU Cafeterias... you have won me over and made not only your yummy food but also my memories there some that will sorely missed!

#9 - My Study Spots 

Getting 2 degrees while being a varsity athlete certainly wasn't a walk in the park. But I did find some amazing places to study that made doing all the hours of homework and studying a little bit better. To start off though, I will tell you what surprisingly did NOT make my list for study spots - my room (which never allowed for more than 30 minutes of productivity) and the Library (which is for muggles, aka the non-athlete... sorry for the stereotype!). A shame, I know, that I can't cross pulling an all-nighter on the 4th floor of the library off my MSU Bucket List, but the other 51 or so items that I've done on the list will have to make up for it. And now onto what the study spots that I will miss the most:

• Grand River Coffee... best place ever! a) good food and drinks b) best study atmosphere around - comfy chairs and waterfall in the middle for some background noise and serenity c) connected to an old book shop if I need a break d) has a patio e) walking distance from campus and my apartments f) I think you get the picture... Not only was GR Coffee a great place to spend the whole day at studying, but it is also filled with many wonderful memories with friends and mentors - catching up, reading God's word, and just being together. As I've had more free time, it's also become a place for me to go and spend time with God which has been a wonderful blessing as well. 
• Speaking of reading God's word - this wasn't one of the places I originally thought of, and I rarely studied here, but Grand Traverse Pie Company will always be near and dear to my heart for a different reason. It was the first place that my best friend Ashley and I read our bibles together in public! It seems silly looking back that it was such a big deal, but it just goes to show that there is always room for spiritual growth in the smallest of places!
• The Smith Center... Club Smith... The Clara Bell... Smith... I spent many-a-night at our academic support services building in lock-down getting papers done and studying for finals. Not only did I get a ton of homework and paper writing/printing done at Smith, but it will also be a place I miss dearly because of my academic coordinator, Mandy (who will be discussed later in the week). Her office always provided warmth and comfort as I was able to talk my worries and stresses of life away!

That's all for Day 1... 8 more 'things' that have made my time at MSU truly incredible and 4 more days left to enjoy them to the fullest and make it count. "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

Make it Count

It finally really hit me. When I was on my way home from church I realized that I will only share 2 more worship services with what has become my church home in East Lansing. I don't know if it was out of fear or love or excitement or nostalgia or the fact that EL has become home or what... but I (despite priding myself in rarely crying) started crying in my car. I have less than 3 weeks where I can still call myself a college student and then I'll be an alumni and on my own! What was once a far off and silly thought about my being almost done finally became a reality and it was honestly a little scary. And it still seems pretty bizarre even as I write it again.

Tebow knows what's up!
Philippians 4:13

Through my tears and the somewhat harsh dose of reality, the devil started feeding me lies that I wasn't ready for the next stage of life... that I wasn't ready to move on... that I needed to stay close to what has become my family here. Praise God that our sermon this morning was all about how we can believe in Christ and the power of Easter through God's Word and Means of Grace - I don't have to doubt like Thomas. In the short car ride home, God's word powered through the devil's lies and reminded me that I don't need to doubt my preparedness, but that I am beyond ready for the next chapter with Christ's strength as my cornerstone: "For I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." 

Furthermore in Jeremiah God reminds me: "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  The experiences, hardships, successes, relationships, and time I have spent at State have been purposefully crafted by God to prepare me for the next stage of life. Who am I to doubt and fear that He won't continue to craft my future plans just as beautifully and purposefully? 

Finally, one of my favorite verses that I often turned to during my volleyball career that also provided comfort to me today was Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord God will be with you wherever you go."  Having studied Joshua a little further on my own, it is comforting to see that he was able to have such confidence in God because of his preparedness before he became leader. Joshua was about to lead the Israelites into the Promise Land after Moses passed away. No easy feat if you ask me. But He was receiving godly wisdom and mentorship well before he was asked to lead - just look at the Tent of Meeting for one example. I, too, can have confidence moving forward because I have been purposeful in growing my relationship with God. I am confident of where He is leading me and like Joshua have been poured into by wonderful Christians leaders and believers. I am able to "walk by faith, not by sight."

As I have further thought about one chapter closing and another beginning, I was reminded of Ecclesiastes 3 and how there is a Time for Everything: 

           "There is a time for everything,
           and a season for every activity under heaven:
           a time to be born and a time to die,
           a time to plant and a time to uproot,
           a time to kill and a time to heal,
           a time to tear down and a time to build,
           a time to weep and a time to laugh,
           a time to mourn and a time to dance,
           a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
           a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
           a time to search and a time to give up,
           a time to keep and a time to throw away,
           a time to tear and a time to mend,
           a time to be silent and a time to speak,
           a time to love and a time to hate,
           a time for war and a time for peace."

I'm not meant to stay put in a single season or feeling of life. It's God's will for me to continue to grow in knowledge and in truth of Him and His Word - and that requires me to continue to work and toil and in most instances, move on to new opportunities and experiences. This is actually a gift from God, to be able to work hard. And plus if I read further in this chapter, I see that God has set eternal life in the heart's of men - my ultimate 'time' or 'season' or 'chapter of life' is in heaven with Him!

It's clear that I have no reasons to fear or be apprehensive about my future or even about my time closing in at State. Rather, I can (as I've been reminded from my FINAL {ever!} project for school) by God's grace MAKE IT COUNT. I am able to make it count right now: I can enjoy, laugh, dance, love, and embrace my time and relationships here because my Lord Jesus gives me the ultimate purpose and reason to live life to the fullest everyday. I will be able to make it count in the future: I can look forward with eager expectation to the next season of life God has prepared for me because I know He is walking beside me and guiding me. And because Jesus made his life count - I, too, can make my life count for eternity in heavenly glory with Him forever.

As athletically related as the Nike+ campaign may be, it
could not be any more true for our walk with God. We should strive
to make every day - every moment - every movement
 count for Him and His Kingdom!

Fueling Up with the Savior I Need

At the beginning of this Lenten season, I shared how I was going to literally and figuratively slow down and "Be Still" before God. With Good Friday and Easter - the climax of Lent -quickly approaching, I think it's only fitting for me to take a step back and evaluate how my walk (or drive!) with God went during Lent... have I slowed down? Been intentional? Grown in my knowledge of and relationship with God? Lived passionately for Him?

I would love to answer with a resounding YES! but I know that wasn't always the case. Yes, I did slow down (for the most part), I was intentional with my time with God and others (most of the time), and noticed that I grew in knowledge of the Truth (during parts of Lent). But God doesn't want or accept "for the most part" when it comes to my relationship with Him. That certainly wouldn't have cut it for Jesus' life and death on Earth! How miserable and hopeless we would have been, had Jesus only obeyed God for the most part, or stayed close to his Father in heaven to know His will most of the time, or mostly lived a perfect life in my place?! Praise God that Jesus was fully committed to my salvation!

Looking back on these past six weeks, it's sad to say it only took one trip midway through Lent where I was hurried and running late for me to intentionally start speeding. Then it didn't take long for it carry over into not only being less precise and exact about my speeding in the car, but also into being more busy and 'speeding' through life. I was still mindful of my speed, but caution and precision took a back seat to my own expectations, impatience, and pride. It was an obvious yield sign that I must continually die to old self (Ephesians 4:22-24) and put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-20) because my sinful nature and the devil are constantly at work within me (Romans 7:1-25).

I noticed myself speeding by placing my to-do's, lists, meetings, and duties (some of which were even spiritual like Bible Study planning or writing in my blog or journal) above being still and waiting upon the Lord. I got wrapped up in my hard work and service but wasn't getting fueled up to sustain my speed and direction. As I have been learning from the wonderful example of Mary and Martha, I put the "Kitchen Service" of working hard and serving before the "Living Room" intimacy with God. The work I got so caught up in was by no means bad, but I have to remember what should always come first and where I find the strength to pursue such tasks - my relationship and intimacy with God! He desires my heart and availability above all else... what an easy request, yet I make it out to be so much harder than it is!

As I started speeding along more and more, I also became impatient with the road blocks and slow drivers in my way - particularly with my knee surgery recovery. I met with my surgeon a few weeks ago, expecting to hear good news because of how well everything seemed to be going. But I was blind-sided - no running, jumping, plyometrics for another 4 months! Rather than trusting that God had my ultimate good and healing in mind, I've been tempted to question His plan in regards to my surgery and health: God, why have you required this surgery so I can't enjoy my normal activities, working out, and even volleyball? I hate biking! I hate swimming! Don't you care that I'm getting out of shape? I started sounding a lot like the Israelites as they were wandering in the desert and speaking against God:

Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? There is no bread! There is no water! And we detest this miserable food!

But when I read further in Numbers 21, I see that when I, like the Israelites, repent of my sins, of my impatience, of my not trusting God's plan... I'm forgiven and healed. God had Moses make a bronze snake for the Israelites to look up at to be healed from the venomous snakes, but I've been given something even better - Jesus' cross and empty tomb.

As Good Friday and Easter approach, I can't help but think how often I choose or desire the "Jesus I want" like the Israelites of Moses' time and Jews of Jesus' time. All of the road blocks and speed traps I get stuck in are a result of my own expectations of what I think my path should look like; stemming from my lack of trust in my cartographer and His ultimate map. I had expectations about what God should do because I was working for Him... Expectations of how I can change others... Expectations of what my recovery should look like... Expectations of Him working on my timeframe and agenda... Expectations that God should make my life easy...

Praise God that Jesus' power is strong enough to break my expectations and that He is the Savior I need. He's luckily not a genie or king or servant answering to my beck and call, because if I'm honest, my heart fools me and I really don't know what I want or need or what's truly good for me. He shattered any power that sin, guilt, my expectations, death, and the devil held on me and gave me Himself! He is my eternal, humble servant King that I see riding into Jerusalem on a donkey on Palm Sunday... He provides personal assurance for me that my sins are forgiven on Maunday Thursday at the last supper... He innocently bore my sins and died a horrible death that I deserved on Good Friday... and He rose victorious on Easter Sunday. THAT is the Jesus I want and need! The Jesus that loves me and will sustain my trip here on earth until He calls me to my eternal home in heaven with Him. 

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who
are perishing, but to us who are being saved, it is the
power of God." -1 Corinthians 1:18